help with a yr old anxious boy who cant sleep

[angie]

Any suggestions on how i can help a seven year old boy who is anxious about lots of things and if finding trouble sleeping.  His parents have asked me to spend some time with him and i have a few ideas, ie: hypnosis and some nlp techniques such as circle of excellence, 6 step reframe. 
I wonder if any of you have experience working with children who could help in this case?
Angie 

[angie]

He is seven not a year old as my heading implys..
Angie 

[Mark]

Hi Angie,

No experience in a professional sense but some things that have helped me as a father of a 4 year old boy.

I've noticed that when I get myself down to his level (literally, on the floor and at eye level) and into his world of play a lot more information is forthcoming.

For example, if I come home from work and ask what he did at school today he replies with a disinterested "dunno" or "forgot". Wheras if we are in play mode on the floor and I ask him to show me what sort of things he did in school he is more than keen to do so.

Leading on from that I find role play a great way to find out what is going on in his world. If I mind read that he is anxious about something we can make stories up using his favourite toys or action figures. It's amazing what comes out of the mouths of toys!

Once the information has been gathered he loves it when "Daddy makes one of those stories up in his head about Prince Declan". A fictional character who co-incidentally (!) has the same name as him, has lots of exciting adventures and finds unique resources and ways of overcoming life's everyday troubles. Or at least that days troubles!

I love using stories and metaphors with him and have found great benefit.

Hope you find something of use in there.

Love and kind regards
Mark

[char]

some thoughts.....

I used to work with children years ago. Did play therapy and work with parents.  That age is when lots of kids have fears.  My suggestion would be to work with parents on a nighttime routine, that quiets and relaxes.  The storytelling idea is a good one.  My own kids used to love that.  There may be other issues as nighmares or separation issues.  The boy may be able to use a talisman  eg a teddy bear or other faviourite character or toy to create safety.  Most important is a consistant approach by parents, calming themselves at night as well.  ? child picking up on other anixiety in the home.  Consistancy and safety should help resolve with time.

charleen

[angie]

Thanks for the suggesions guys 
I am seeing him next week soi will let you know how we get along.
Angie x

[Joseph Kao]

Hi Angie,

I don't work with kids regularly, though I've seen a few young teens. These suggestions are more from what I know colleagues do, and what springs to mind from books:

1) Kids generally love drawing, and it can be a great way to get them to express how they feel. You could get him to draw what his bed looks like at bedtime, and then ask him what needs to change in the picture for him to sleep comfortably (and get him to draw that - the desired state).

2) You could use the Erickson-pinched idea of fear around bedtime being perfectly natural and healthy for a boy as young as (say) seven and a quarter, but that he can look forward to when he's a big boy of seven and a half, and he can go to sleep bravely and sleep soundly, and then when he's eight, he'll be so big he'll have forgotten he was ever afraid.

3) Tell a couple of good stories and metaphors. If there are any monsters, say that since no-one but him can see them, he owns them, so he can make them however he likes. They can have *terrifying* chocolate fingers, *monstrous* marshmallow eyes, get him to contribute, make it a fun game (got that from Paul Scheele I think).

Circle of excellence sounds good, lots of fun jumping into the circle etc., though don't want to make it too energetic if it's a bedtime anchor(!), six step reframe may be ok if done conversationally, but seven might be a bit young. Anchoring his room and bed to calm would also be a good step.

Hope that helps,

Joe.

[angie]

Hi Joe

thank you so much for your advise and tips!

I will be seeing the youngster on Friday so will let you know how we get on 

Ange x

[Mark]

Hey Angie,

Just wondering how you got on?

Kindest regards
Mark

[angie]

Hey Mark..
well i havent seen him yet and its not me running away from challange! 
The friend of the family had flu and has now had to go into hospital for a prostate operation!
I will keep you informed of my experience when it happens. 
Ange x

[cmarkod]

Hi Ange

I work with kids most of the time and the most important thing I've found is to make things fun, followed by not underestimating what they can take on and process. I've used most mainstream NLP techniques with kids as young as 4/5 and as long as I've done a good preframe, they get it really well. Submodaility stuff is really easy as kids tend to be able to rapidly identify internal representations and be able to manipulate these with ease. Someting I tend to do with kids when discussing anxiety stuff is have them throwing a juggling ball from hand to hand with me doing the same and matching pace( a little tip I picked up from Andy Austin) while they discuss their anxiety. This helps with rapport and also engages left/right brain activity.

Hope it goes ok
Chris