Total Freak Out!!

[cat]

Hi,


Thanks for taking the time to read this; obviously I'm not looking for medical advice, more an outside veiw, or resources you might know of that could help me..

I have had treatment in the past (pychology+dietician) for an eating disorder and general food fear/obsession. It is now two years since the treatment stopped, and I proudly consider myself almost completely recovered. I am now seeing a counsellor for another reason, however she has starting probing my 'restrictive and controlling' behaviours and wants to start working on my food decisions. I have got myself into a comfortable place (usually anyway) where I now eat regularly, I eat a balanced diet (even with avocados and nuts etc I denied myself in the past), and have maintained a weight that is in the normal weight range. What has happened is my obsessive anorexic behaviour has transfered to an obsession with health. I work out daily and have a diet that supports muscle recovery etc.

However, I do freak out when I don't eat 'on time' by my schedule, am travelling and can't get my healthy vegan option, or if something has too much oil/sugar in it. I get quite emotional and it can be very embarrassing around my partner, family and friends.

I take flaxseed oil every day, which is a big step for me (I used to avoid all fats and oils) and now the counsellor is urging me to try cook with a little olive oil, and gradually introduce some other foods. I feel I eat very well and I really don't want to put all my exercise to waste by having more oil. I cannot handle it if my body gets larger than it is. I'm really upset about this and am feeling confused about food again. I'm very tempted to stop the therapy. My boyfriend thinks I do need to keep going, and that I'm very uptight when things in general don't go to my plan.   

 

[Michael Neill]

Hey, Cat -

I highly recommend Paul McKenna's book 'I Can Make You Thin'.  I worked on it with him, and it really does address those issues well, including a mind reprogramming CD that seems to really make a difference!

enjoy,
michael

[realmagic]

I also reccommend Paul mckenna's "I can make you thin" It made me thin Losing 5 stone
But more importantly it change my relationship to food and give more freedom in my life.

Kindest Regards,
Mike.

[cat]

Thanks to you both for your book recommendation. Is it suitable for someone who doesn't want to focus on weight loss (i'd be underweight and in trouble with everyone if I started losing weight), and just on being more relaxed with control issues around food and other things? I'm very rigid with my diet (or so they say), I'm a bit concerned if I read this book my focus may swing onto again being obsessed with 'losing (non-existent) fat' rather than being healthy. Part of my problem has been compulsively reading diet and exercise books.

[realmagic]

Hi Cat,
I think the point I was trying to make is that its not really about losing weight (you can take from the book what ever you need to i.e. what is relevant to you).  Its about having more choices, having more freedom, being in control and not being obessive about food, people can take the healthy thing too far. I eat what I want, if feel like something "naughty" then I have Its about balance in your eat habits and balance in your life. The best position to be in is where you can say F*ck it I can take it or leave it
An old man I knew who was over 90 and still riding his bike to and from his allotment garden!! said to me while discussing health I'd rather eat roast beef and ride my bike

KR,
Mike.
PS My tip is listen to your body and it will tell when to eat and what to eat, even if it may seem an unheathly chioce there's something the body it asking for

[cat]

Thanks for that clarification, it's very good advice.

I know my health food reign of terror is a bit much...if it causes me so much anguish I guess something's a bit iffy. I'll check out that book   

Thanks again,
cat