Thousand Actions - Stuck

[fionad]

I started the thousand actions plan as part of the new year whizzbang. I am working on the idea of my career as an artist.  Initally it went really well - small things started to move and because I had an external event to focus on, an exhibition, I could use that as a means of thinking of things to do and to ask people to help. 

I'm keeping roughly on schedule with 240 so far but am having trouble keeping going after the exhibition opened. I don't think I've got the importance of asking others to act on my behalf yet. I do understand that its circular where because I have a problem with rejection, I ask less frequently and so when I do ask it becomes more important that they say yes.

Does any one have any ideas on how to get over this, how they did it and how they kept thinking of things to do - I'm starting to think of myself as an unimaginative artist.

Love Fiona   

[Tim]

Hi Fiona,

A couple of things rattled through my brain as I read your post.

Firstly, how do you react when someone asks you for help? My guess is that as the decent, generous human being that you are (and you wouldn’t have been attracted to this site if you weren’t  )  you are delighted to help where and when you can.
Not only that, but you get to feel that nice warm fuzzy feeling inside that seems to appear as a reward for the help that you have provided.

So by inviting someone to help you, you are really just giving them a chance to experience this pleasant feeling.
Like you, and a lot of other people, I experienced a fear of rejection and used this approach to persuade myself that I was in fact offering something rather than asking for something!

As for the thousand actions, your exhibition obviously gave you something to point your actions towards. Having a rich vision of where you want to be at the end of the year, at the end of your thousand actions will also give you plenty to aim at. So think of all the changes you’d like to make, all the stuff and people that you’d like to attract into your life so that there’s plenty of scope for the actions that you’re going to take.

Hope this helps,

Tim.

[fionad]

Thanks Tim, the idea of asking being a way of offering the people you are asking, a way of feeling good about themselves is very clever. I have always found it much easier to give than to receive. I'll try your approach. Since my first post I've been trying the asking thing with things that don't matteras much and I've found that is easy but I still freeze when it means something to me and I can take the no personally as a rejection.

In terms of the clarity of my intent. I'm trying to be both clear and yet open to bigger ends than I can imagine. It may be that the clarity is loosing out. My off the wall clear intent is to be shown as part of the Venice Biennale but there is a lot of stuff between here and there that would be fantastic.     

love Fiona 

[Tim]

Hi Fiona,

A couple of further thoughts then. In my book it’s OK to have a bit of fuzziness in your intent. This way you don’t become so focused on getting one result, and one result only, that you miss all sorts of other opportunities along the way.
I know that there’s another school of thought that says that you have to be really clear about what you want before you start but as a consummate ditherer (!) I feel that this can put the dreaded ‘fear of getting it wrong’ in the way of action.
So as long as you have good idea of the direction you want to move in, keep taking the actions even if all the details aren’t clear yet.

It’s probably an unhealthy regression to my schooldays but I see my aims in life as a long corridor of coat hooks.
As I take action towards any specific aim I think of more ‘stuff’ being loaded on that hook. Any hook that’s looking a bit bare I start asking myself what sort of actions I could hang on it.
For example
Venice Biennial – Who needs to see your work to have it accepted?
Improve a particular technique – Who does it really well that I can study?
New car – Where to they sell really cheap Ferraris!

Well you get the gist, anyway

Hope this helps

Tim.

[fionad]

That idea of yours Tim that in asking you are also offering others the opportunity to feel good about themselves, usefull wanted, equal etc actually works so thanks for giving me that focus.

My hairdresser is also a poet and when I get my hair cut he always gives me one of his latest works to read and we talk about it. I always tended to focus on what works for me and not really talk that much about the bits that misss slightly. This time after talking about what worked I mentioned a couple of areas that I thought were a bit muddy. He has made me fell usefull and wanted by asking my opinion of his work. The whole conversation moved into a new level of trust and openness. We then started talking about my practice and I realised I have never shown him images of my work and I asked him if he had any ideas about my practice and he responded really positively with a couple of clever ideas to focus my efforts. So next time I'll get my haircut I'll show him a couple of images form my latest exhibition and see if we can build up a relationship that can also offer critical comment both ways.

So Tim thanks again.

[Tim]

Thanks Fiona,

Your post has, in turn, given me a nice warm fuzzy feeling ……
Hey, between us we could spread this round the world !   

Take care,

Tim.