I've got a new coach. I chose him because he's a hypnotherapist and an NLP practitioner - apart from a coach and a therapist.
This week I had my first session with him and even though I thought I had made it clear to him in the introductory meeting, that I am looking for coaching and not therapy, I feel he's trying to analyze me, since we spent the whole last session on me trying to "focus on my bad feelings".
But apart from this - the weird thing is that I have a feeling he was hitting on me the whole session!
When I entered his house he did not say Good evening or anything, he just looked and smiled at me and then complimented me on my shoes! And then on my dress! That was already strange. Like we're having a date!
I told him that my boyfriend and I broke up since our introductory meeting and he asked me how I feel about that, blah blah blah and then, throughout the whole session he would make comments like "You're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen... uhm TODAY, ha ha,... and yet you're telling me you're afraid to end up alone?" (Ok I'm not trying to flatter myself here, but isn't that a bit inappropriate for a therapist to say??) Then he said, "Ok, imagine I would say 'Anna, I am leaving my family, come with me, let's elope to another country!' What would you say?" - I said, "I would say no, because I'm trying to settle here!" -"OK, then lets say I'd ask you to move in with me here, in The Hague!" - Huh??? I don't even remember what I replied. Is that normal?? When I told him that in the most melancholic phase of my life I listened to Leonard Cohen CD's nonstop
he replied that he can play much better guitar than Leonard Cohen. So what??? And my name is Anja not Anna - how unprofessional is that, after filling in forms and exchanging emails where he has seen my name lots of times?
And what really put me off was when I said that my house needs a lot of work and it's really something that's stressing me, he said, "Well, there you go! Get a guy who can fix it, a plumber, as in 'I plumb your house and then I plumb you!'" How can you say that as a professional?
Please tell me all this is not normal. First I thought, ok, weird, but I will give it another go and see how the next session goes. Then I will decide if I continue with him or not. But now all these remarks are coming back to me and I get really disgusted. I don't even want to pay him for that session. The only thing is that I'm afraid he might say it was all just techniques or something to provoke me and get some reaction from me (since we were getting nowhere, which is hardly surprising giving his behaviour, I don't feel comfortable with him).
OK. Finished ranting... any opinions?
Anja
