Have you ever felt like you wanted more money?

If you were honest, you almost certainly answered 'yes' - how resounding your
'yes' was may well have only been dependent on how suspicious you were of the
question.

Now think about where you went looking for that extra money. Chances are that
many of the places you looked were outside of yourself - banks, employers,
potential clients, or even friends or family members with a ‘soft touch’.

How about love - have you ever felt a lack of love in your life? Where did you
go looking for that 'missing' love?

If you're like most people, you again went outside yourself - to a parent,
sibling, friend, or lover.

For the past fifteen years, I have been asking people what it is they most want
in their lives.

Initially, their answers are largely lists of externals - more money, more stuff,
better relationships, more success.

But when I then ask people what really matters to them about having more of all
those lovely externals, they invariably begin listing ‘internals’ - inner
resources like more security, more confidence, and more love.

The fact of the matter is, most of us have learned to look to external resources
to make up for what we perceive to be a lack of inner resources.

Don't have any confidence?

Get a nose job, tummy tuck, hair transplant and new breasts. (OK, ideally not
all at the same time… :-)

Can't get any respect?

Get more money or a more important job and see if you can buy some. As the
saying goes, "with money in your pocket you're handsome, funny, and you sing nice
too."

Can't get a date?

Get into a position of influence and acclaim and then try again. As Henry
Kissinger said, “Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.”

The problem with all of these strategies, whether we are employing them
consciously or as is more often the case completely unconsciously, is that the
more we use them, the more we reinforce the illusion that fixing up our outside
will lead to a stronger inside.

This becomes even clearer when we explore the dark and murky history of
Optometry. Once upon a time, eye glasses were designed as training tools -
'crutches' for weak eyes which enabled people to see clearly while they were
exercising their eyes back to full health. At some point, the game switched -
instead of making eye glass prescriptions progressively weaker as the eyes got
stronger, the prescriptions got stronger and the eyes got weaker.

Similarly, if we begin to rely on external resources (money, power, fame, etc.)
to open doors, win hearts, and grease the wheels of success, we are liable to
lose touch with the power within us to create what we want in our lives - inner
resources like confidence, charm, compassion, determination, clarity, and
charisma.

There is an old Sufi story about Mullah Nasruddin, who came home late one night
only to discover he had lost a precious diamond. He was looking for it in the
street outside his home, pacing back and forth under the bright lights of the
street lamps.

Because he was well-liked, his neighbors came out to help him. Finally, after
almost an hour, someone asked him where he last saw the diamond.

“Oh,” Nasruddin replied. “It’s in the basement.”

His friends looked at him in disbelief.

“Then why are you looking for it out here?”

“It’s very dark in my basement”, replied Nasruddin.

The moral of the story (and today’s tip) is simple:

*Utilizing outer resources tends to use up the outer resources while potentially
weakening your access to the inner ones.

*Utilizing inner resources will invariably allow you to both accumulate outer
resources and increase your access to the highly renewable inner ones.

And when you really get the extraordinary resources you have within you, life
becomes a restaurant with a much more varied menu than you may have previously
imagined.

So where do you get hold of these great inner resources when you don’t seem to
have them?

Here’s a clue…

They’re called ‘inner’ resources’!

Here are a few of my favorite strategies for tapping into your inner wealth and
accessing the power within:

1. Recognize why you want what you want

There are two kinds of wants. ‘Means Wants’ are things you want as a means to an
end or because you think it ‘means’ something good about you if you get them.
‘End Wants’ are things you want just because you want them – there’s no positive
or negative ulterior motive.

For instance, you might want financial independence because it strikes you as a
fun goal to work towards. On the other hand, you might want financial
independence so that your relationship with your husband will improve (and you’ll
have an escape route if it doesn’t).

Knowing up front which one it is could save you years of struggle and stress down
line – and opens up the possibility of using your inner resources to work
directly on your ‘real’ goal.

2. Use language that reminds you that you can choose to take responsibility for
everything that happens in your life

One of the simplest ways to do this is to become aware of every time you begin a
sentence about yourself with the word ‘you’ instead of ‘I’ – as in ‘you work hard
all your life and then something like this happens’, or ‘you try your best but
it’s never good enough’.

When you notice yourself doing that, repeat the sentence with the word ‘I’ and
see if it still feels as true or truer.

3. Build your access to inner resources by consciously deciding to do something
and doing it every single day

When I first read Tony Robbins ‘Awaken the Giant Within’ (see the ‘Want to Learn
More?’ section at the end of this tip to learn more), I took his advice and
consciously made 100 decisions over the course of about six weeks. These ranged
from the simple (“I will brush my teeth twice a day every day this week”) to the
more complex (“I will treat every person who comes into my life today as if they
were sent to teach me something very important for my well-being and the
well-being of those that I love”.

What I found is that by the end of the six weeks, I had developed my ‘access to
resources’ muscle to such an extent that I felt capable of taking on
significantly more challenge in my life.

By the end of the year, I had become an NLP trainer, booked my first television
job, and ghosted my first self-help book!

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Today’s Experiment:
--------------------

1. Review your goals. (If you don’t have any, make some up!)

Now for each goal on your list, ask yourself ‘why do I want this?’ If your
answer begins with ‘because’ or ‘in order to’, explore at least three other ways
of getting what it is that you *really* want.

2. Take on the language challenge from today’s tip.

Notice anytime you are using ‘victim speak’ and re-language things to reflect
your ability to take responsibility for your life.

3. Make at least 3 decisions today and act on them. If you enjoy this (or find
it particularly difficult), keep it up for the next 21 days and watch your life
transform.

Have fun, learn heaps, and spend yourself wisely!

Until next time,
michael

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WANT TO LEARN MORE?
====================

Here are some of my favorite outer resources for accessing the power within…

-------------------------
Books and Audio Programs
-------------------------

*Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0671791540/geniuscatalys-20

*Conscious Living by Gay Hendricks
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0062514873/geniuscatalys-20

*I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What it Was by Barbara Sher
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0440505003/geniuscatalys-20

*The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven R. Covey
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0743269519/geniuscatalys-20

*The 7 Myths of Success (audio program) by Michael Neill
http://www.geniuscatalyst.com/shop/7myths.php

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Related Tips
-------------

Members of the Solutions Café will also enjoy these related tips…

*The 200% Relationship
*Finding Personal Meaning in a Crazy World
*On Catching Birds and Flying Free
*On Taking Responsibility
*The Resource Bank (particularly recommended!)
*The Relationship Triangle

To find out more, visit the Solutions Café at:
http://www.geniuscatalyst.com/public/cafepublic.php

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