and finally...
Today's tip is a shortened version of a negotiating model I developed for use in business and sales called the Negotiation P.R.O.F.I.L.E.(tm), which is now in use in at least six countries across Europe.

I will be back in the UK in March 2002; if you would like to discuss the possibility of my leading my "Secrets of Emotional Negotiation" training or speaking to your company while I'm over, please e-mail me and we'll set up a time to talk..

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Whether you're negotiating a peace settlement in a war-torn country or a peace settlement in an argument-ravaged relationship, strong preparation is the key to success.

The following three steps will help you establish your Why?, How? and What?....

1. Purpose
Knowing why you are engaged in a negotiation may seem obvious in some situations (to buy a lamp, to stop a fight, etc.), but more complex negotiations generally have more complex purposes.

Ask yourself:
-Why am I negotiating? 
-What are the potential benefits? 
-What do I ultimately hope to achieve? 

2. Result/Relationship Balance
A "transaction" is high result/low relationship - we get what we want, and the other person is incidental to the exchange. Buying a used car is generally a "transaction".

"Relationship-builders" are meetings, calls, and exchanges of value where developing the relationship between the two parties is far more important than the actual tangible "result" outcome. Early meetings in any project are usually "relationship-builders" - what gets done is far less important than connections being made.

A true "Deal" is where there is a high emphasis on both getting what you want and enhancing your relationship for the future - this "win/win" thinking takes more time and effort, but is essential in any sort of long-term agreement. Successful political (and marital!) negotiations are always predicated on achieving this balance.

Give yourself the following test:
If you had 20 points to distribute between creating the Result you want and enhancing the Relationship, how would you do it?
Example:
Result/Relationship
15/5 - Transaction
5/15 - Relationship builder
10/10 - Deal

3. Outcomes and Options
When it comes to negotiation, having a clear outcome, goal, or target in mind has been shown to be one of the primary determinants in how things come out. (See Richard G. Shell's excellent "Bargaining for Advantage" for more information - available via www.dailycoachingtip.com!)

Ask yourself the following questions:
-What specifically do I want?                        
-What specifically do I think they want?
-What are some plausible options that will get us both what we want?

Bonus Tip:
If you're using this to prepare for an important negotiation, take some extra time to answer the questions AS IF you were the other person in the negotiation. You will be pleasantly surprised at the insights you gain from this process.

Have fun, learn heaps, and the next time you negotiate, do it like a P.R.O.!