MONEY MADE FUN eBOOK
The motivaider: a great tool to keep you on track.
"It is because we have at the present moment everybody claiming the right of conscience without going through any discipline whatsoever that there is so much untruth being delivered to a bewildered world."
Are you a disciplined person?
When I ask this on my seminars, generally less than 1 in 10 people answers yes.
In fact, 'not being disciplined enough' sits atop many people's lists of 'Top ten
reasons I'm not happy, successful, or thin' and 'Top ten reasons to beat myself
up'. Yet properly understood, practicing a 'wholesome discipline' is one of the
most wonderful gifts you can give yourself.
Recently, my mentor Bill Cumming (see the 'Want to Learn More' section at
the end of the tip to learn more) shared with me his three keys to effective
discipline. While he was talking in the context of working with children, I have found
these keys to be equally effective in working with myself.
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1. Clarity
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""Simplicity, clarity, singleness: These are the attributes that give our lives
power and vividness and joy as they are also the marks of great art. They seem to be the purpose of God for his whole creation."
-Richard Holloway
One of the reasons parenting can be so difficult is that we are all trying to be 'good parents' without ever having sat down and defined for ourselves exactly what being a good parent means. Each time we violate our unwritten rules for what is "good", we feel bad about ourselves and our parenting without really understanding why. On the other hand, when we take the time to establish exactly how we want to be as parents, we give ourselves a clear set of guidelines to follow.
In any arena in life, the clearer you can get about your purpose and intent, the easier it will be to reach your goals and the simpler it will be to course-correct when you are off-target. Disciplined action is simply a means to an end, and becoming clear about what that end is will help you to begin practicing your discipline with that end in mind.
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2. Consistency
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"The secret of success is constancy of purpose."
-Benjamin Disraeli
Consistency is one of the most misunderstood aspects of discipline. People seem to believe that if they go off their diet for a meal, or take a day off meditation, they are not disciplined enough and all their previous efforts have been wasted.
Yet the true purpose of practicing a discipline is not simply to become more disciplined. I have met far too many 'consistent meditators' who are deeply unhappy and 'disciplined dieters' who are seemingly permanently at war with their own bodies to believe that the highest virtue lies in doing the same thing every single day. The real benefit of practicing a discipline is coming from the same place for the same purpose - a consistency of being rather than a repetitiveness of doing.
If you live each day with a commitment to achieving success, practicing kindness, or cultivating your well-being, that commitment and constancy of purpose will take you further faster than a simple repetitive action like 'reading your goals every day', 'meditating each morning', or 'doing 20 minutes of aerobic exercise 5 times a week'.
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3. Loving Kindness
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"Our life itself is our friendship with the world."
-Bo Lozoff
Would you feel differently about being disciplined if you knew that it simply meant becoming a more consistent learner? The main thing holding many of us back from practicing more discipline in our lives is that we are convinced it has to hurt to count. This is why the
term has become bound up with sado-masochistic sexual practice. In fact, the root meaning
of the word discipline is from the latin word 'disciplus', or pupil, and 'discere', which means 'to learn'.
When we decide to treat ourselves with loving kindness, even when we forget to meditate, eat pizza on the Atkins diet, or lose our temper with our loved ones, we open ourselves to learn - and learning is the root of all discipline.
While many of you will already be familiar with the words of Max Ehrmann's Desiderata, I include it here because quite frankly, I love it (and it has the word 'discipline' in it, so I can get away with it. )
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Today's Experiment:
1. Think about an area of your life in which you would like to be more
disciplined.
Example:
money, exercise, spirituality, etc.
2. Choose one practice that you think you would like to take on to become
more
disciplined in that area.
Example:
Money - writing down everything I spend
Exercise - walking at least 10,000 steps a day
Spirituality - meditate
3. Next, identify the purpose behind the practice - how are you hoping your
life
will change by taking that practice on?
Example:
*By writing down everything I spend, I hope to make better use of my money
*By walking at least 10,000 steps a day, I hope to stimulate my metabolism
and
keep my muscles strong, my joints loose, and my natural energy flowing
*By meditating 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening, I
hope to
reduce my stress and connect more deeply with God.
4. Make a commitment to your purpose - that you are willing to go for what
you
want, even if your means to that end changes over time.
Example:
*I commit to putting my money to good use in the world.
*I commit to keeping my natural energy flowing throughout the day.
*I commit to living each day in connection with my higher power.
5. Finally, make a 'mini-commitment' to your practice - one that feels like
a
gentle stretch, not a huge leap.
Example:
*For the next week, I commit to write down everything I spend.
*Tomorrow, I will buy a pedometer and a notebook to jot down my daily steps.
*Each day for the next month, I will meditate for an extra minute a day,
beginning with one minute on the first day and reaching at least thirty
minutes
by the end of the month.
Have fun, learn heaps, and cut yourself some slack. As Aldous Huxley said:
"The only completely consistent people are dead."
WANT TO LEARN MORE?
Here are some of my favorite resources for developing discipline in your
life and
making it more fun and effective.
Books
The Art of Living by Epictetus (translated by Sharon LeBell)
http:/www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0062513222/geniuscatalys-20
The Inner Athlete by Dan Millman
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0913299979/geniuscatalys-20
It's a Meaningful Life, It Just Takes Practice by Bo Lozoff
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0140196242/geniuscatalys-20
Wellness by Regina Sara Ryan and John W. Travis
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/089154022/geniuscatalys-20
A Year of Living Consciously by Gay Hendricks
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0062515888/geniuscatalys-20
Related Tips:
Habitforce!
Finding Personal Meaning in a Crazy World
Practicing Your Life
Websites:
Center for Access to the Power Within (Bill Cumming's Site)
http://www.oneperson.net
The Human Kindness Foundation (Bo Lozoff's Site)
http://www.humankindness.org
